First step to recovery (Part 1)

Firstly I would like to apologise for abandoning my blog for quite some time. Since January I have been having more chemo and had 2 major operations (which I'll go over abit later) so I have been spending a lot of time in hospital and recovering. BUT now I am finishing off my treatment and have more time on my hands I thought I'de try and give this blog some well deserved attention.

Over the past few months there have been some highs and definitely some lows. In February I had a meeting with my Neurosurgeon, Mr Choi and he announced that he wanted to operate as the tumour on my spine was too large just to treat with chemo and radiotherapy. With this news he also went through the procedure and the possible risks that would be involved, some of the risks were common just like any operation for example bleeding etc. Which I accepted. However there was one risk that petrified me, the tumour had grown over 2 nerves which were connected to my left arm. Mr Choi explained to be able to remove the whole tumour he would have to cut those nerves which would most likely end up with paralysis to the left arm. The thought of being only 20 years old and having a paralysed arm left me heartbroken.

Over the next few weeks I suffered from great anxiety from the thought of the operation and even considered not having it at all which obviously would have eventually resulted in death. The operation date hadn't been set and everyday I would pray there would be a miracle and the tumour would just dissapear so I wouldn't have to go through with it. I tried my hardest to take my mind off it so I tried to go out and see my family and friends when I felt up to it which did help distract my thoughts.

Me and my brother Benny whilst having one of my chemos!

From March to April I carried on with the chemotherapy and had another 5 rounds of treatment. Unfortunately it wasn't an easy ride and ended up in hospital 3 times with infections and had to have 4 blood transfusions. This also delayed my treatment which in the long term meant it would last longer which I was not pleased about! During April I received a call from the National Hospital of Neurology and Neurosurgery to tell me my operation date which would be the 6th May. The operation was in 2 parts which meant they would firstly operate on the 6th and then again a week later.

The operation procedure. (This is detailed to please don't read if you get creeped out easily!)
Part 1:  Detachment of the tumour. The tumour was located at the back of my spine meaning the best way to get to it was to cut into my chest past my organs and detach the tumour through there. It was also located near my heart and going through a major blood vessel leading to my brain so a heart surgeon also had to be present.  They detached the tumour from all the surrounding muscles and organs ready for removal the following week.

Part 2: Removal of the tumour. This time they went through my back (similar to my first operation) to take it out. The surgeons would also take away extra bone to give it the best chance of it not growing back and add extra metal work to help stabolise my spine.

The 6th May soon came around and although this was a HUGE step to recovery and becoming cancer free the risk of my arm being paralysed just broke me down and I just didn't feel ready. I went up to the hospital and stayed there the night before my op. My parents and grandparents were there to comfort me and in the morning my mum got there extra early to join me before I went into theatre. The nurses took me into the anasthetic room with my mum and I remember crying the whole time so they gave me a sedative to help me relax. They gave me and my mum a moment to hug and say our "see you soon's" which only just set both of us off crying again. Then the nurse warned me she was going to put the anasthetic through so I gave my mum one last kiss and then I fell asleep.